I've been struggling lately. I've been faced with many challenges to holiness, and have found myself face-flat on the dust more often than anything. It's been a tough school year, full of many faith-shaking and hope-sapping events for me. On top of that, this year has been marked with numerous personal failings. Some years are like that, I suppose, but I'm ready for it to be over. I'm ready for something to really lift me up and inspire me again. I'm looking forward to beginning Major Seminary in Rome, as I think that all the Faith and Antiquity in that Eternal City will be a wonderful source of grace and joy.
Again, in response to the words of my confessor this evening, I find that all my problems stem from one: I loose focus on the Face of Jesus. All the book learning, all the catholic culture, all of it is beautiful indeed; but all of it is for a purpose. And that purpose is the pursuit of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. The ultimate remedy to any sin, to any challenge to personal holiness, is to contemplate the face of Jesus in personal prayer. I don't know why I always forget this. I think my spiritual director reminds me of it almost every time that I meet with him. But it's just the thing that the Devil is trying so hard to make all of us loose sight of amidst all the clutter of our everyday concerns. This is my great challenge! I do not pray as often as I should!
And why? Why is it that I fail to? I think for one, prayer is hard, it's frequently unrewarding, and its contrary to the inclinations of our wounded human nature. But, the Lord knows this, of course, and he supplies us with His grace, which slowly and surely must build upon our nature, so Aquinas says. But more importantly, in His wisdom, when prayer gets difficult, if we're faithful despite the challenge, He makes the difficulty the means by which we are transformed to His likeness. It was in the cross that his love was made known to us! So it is that our love is made known to Him. I let that thought encourage me when prayer is difficult. And I always try to remember that after the cross there is always that Easter joy we celebrate throughout this season.
I seem to be reflecting quite a bit on this issue lately. Perhaps that Lord is putting it on my heart that I may inspire someone who is struggling like me. And so, I say with greater confidence than ever that there is nothing more vital to the sanctification of the Christian than prayer. How else can we learn the ways of God, unless we sit at the feet of the Master. And so let us turn to Him daily, if only for a little while, and listen to His Word. The gospels are a great place to begin to know Him. And even if we don't experience anything particularly awesome at first, in the long run we will find ourselves drawn ever closer to Him. We must only be patient with ourselves and persist!
Again, in response to the words of my confessor this evening, I find that all my problems stem from one: I loose focus on the Face of Jesus. All the book learning, all the catholic culture, all of it is beautiful indeed; but all of it is for a purpose. And that purpose is the pursuit of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. The ultimate remedy to any sin, to any challenge to personal holiness, is to contemplate the face of Jesus in personal prayer. I don't know why I always forget this. I think my spiritual director reminds me of it almost every time that I meet with him. But it's just the thing that the Devil is trying so hard to make all of us loose sight of amidst all the clutter of our everyday concerns. This is my great challenge! I do not pray as often as I should!
And why? Why is it that I fail to? I think for one, prayer is hard, it's frequently unrewarding, and its contrary to the inclinations of our wounded human nature. But, the Lord knows this, of course, and he supplies us with His grace, which slowly and surely must build upon our nature, so Aquinas says. But more importantly, in His wisdom, when prayer gets difficult, if we're faithful despite the challenge, He makes the difficulty the means by which we are transformed to His likeness. It was in the cross that his love was made known to us! So it is that our love is made known to Him. I let that thought encourage me when prayer is difficult. And I always try to remember that after the cross there is always that Easter joy we celebrate throughout this season.
I seem to be reflecting quite a bit on this issue lately. Perhaps that Lord is putting it on my heart that I may inspire someone who is struggling like me. And so, I say with greater confidence than ever that there is nothing more vital to the sanctification of the Christian than prayer. How else can we learn the ways of God, unless we sit at the feet of the Master. And so let us turn to Him daily, if only for a little while, and listen to His Word. The gospels are a great place to begin to know Him. And even if we don't experience anything particularly awesome at first, in the long run we will find ourselves drawn ever closer to Him. We must only be patient with ourselves and persist!
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