Another Long Hiatus

I seem to do this a lot. Just when things really get moving with this blog, something has to come up in life that seriously distracts me. This time it was a number of things, from finals to graduation, vacation to my summer parish assingment...there's just been so much going on. And its been mostly good. It's good to stay busy, although one must be careful that he doesn't loose sight of himself and what really matters. God always wants us to be able to look up at the world, see where we're going, and really drink it all in. If we're too busy, we'll never be able to see His hand at work in the little things around us.

And indeed sometimes his Hand is hard to see. I'm in kind of that place right now. About a week ago today I found out that the Archbishop has decided against sending me to the North American College this Fall. It was a blow to the stomach. I had been so ready, so excited, I'd told everyone I knew, my parents were so proud! I was even almost all the way packed! And the Archbishop told me he wants me to stay. It turns out that there are few things that I need to work on before I will be at my best, and ready to tackle the extreme stresses of seminary in Rome.

Although his decision was hard for me to take, and even to agree with at first, I knew that I had to see this all as an opportunity from God. It seems that God is reminding me that I am not perfect, that I have a lot of areas in my life that are broken, that are in need of healing. It's a hard thing to admit--it's very humbling (even humiliating), but it is for my greater health, spiritual and mental. I have to believe that, because if I don't, He'll never be able to work in me and through me as the priest that I think He is calling me to be.

It's a somewhat confusing time for me now. Although I trust in the Lord and am confident that He will show me His way when He sees fit, it's a little bewildering to have had a plan in place, and have it change very suddenly on you in such a manner. As for what I'll be doing in the Fall, I have not yet been told, and so I must take my summer placement one step at a time. Indeed this is an opportunity to learn what it means to trust in Lord always. I only pray that he grants me a deeper sense of His Providence, and a mighty faith that will cling to Him no matter what trials I shall face. May He do the same for you!